Q: The early years of my relationship with my husband were wonderful: he was loving, caring and understanding. But things have changed five years ago. He has little to say and if there is any, it is usually unfavourable comments about the way I dress, the food I cook and the way I manage the household.

These days we have little in common. I have questioned him on his changed behaviour but he always evades the subject. I know he is hiding something from me. Am I doing the right thing? Is there a better way out?

A: The way to save a relationship is not through asserting your dominance either out of jealousy, suspicion or desperation. When you do it forcefully, you inadvertently worsen things! This can happen because the man loses his respect for you as he may feel you are guilty and not confident about yourself. You, therefore, end up being uninteresting, even irritating in his eyes.

If there is a better way, it is through your gentle attraction. Exude more of your ‘feminine grace’ instead of showing off your masculine power. Remember, the same poles repel and opposite ones attract. Believe firmly that your demeanour, poise and language can bring love back. Respect yourself, have no fears and you will be articulating your needs in the most dignified and humble way. You will be amazed by the results.


  • What are your current methods to show your love and concern?
  • How is he responding to it?
  • How can you change this method for the better?
  • How can gentleness and dignity be shown in your new ways?

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