Q: For some time now, I have been observing the deterioration in one of my managers’ appearance and outlook towards life and work. Once known as the best performer in the organisation, he has become one of the worst now. He used to set high standards in his work but these days he is behaving like a “couldn’t-care-less” manager. Judging from his remarks, comments, and scruffy appearance, everyone knows he is going downhill. The worst part is that he avoids us and does not want any help or talk to anyone except for the brief and occasional “hi and bye” conversations he reluctantly engages in with a few of us. I have tried to talk to him but he would either brush me aside or simply avoid me. What can I do to help him?
A: One thing I pick up from your experience with this person is he is disappointed with something that is causing him great pain. He is feeling very lonely and hopeless. At this point in his life, he may feel that no one in this world can understand or help him.
The sad truth is that his condition can worsen if he continues to deny himself any help. Even something as drastic as suicide cannot be ruled out. Though his attitude may discourage all efforts to help him, you need to be relentless yet gentle in your approach until he willingly seeks your help. If you cannot win him over, get someone who is closer to him and perhaps more able to do it. What is needed is the ability to accurately assess the seriousness of his neurosis so that the right care and attention can be given. If you are not up to mark, get professional help for him, be it a life coach, a psychiatrist, or even a hypnotherapist who is familiar with such cases. In the meantime, you and your other colleagues can continue to do your bit in raising his self-esteem with care and attention, although he appears reluctant to accept any assistance. This will go a long way to help him.
- What will make it compelling for you to do more for him?
- What are you learning about him?
- What strategies will work better than what you are doing now?
- Who else can support you in your efforts?
Empowerment Coaching workshop is the module 2 of the Certified Associate Coach & Certified Professional Coach certification programs.
Tagged lined ‘The Emotional Factor in Coaching, it covers personal mastery & people mastery tools & techniques for deep level Listening & Reframing to raise Self-Awareness.