Q: There is a ‘guilt’ lurking inside me that makes me very careful about my behaviors with people. I feel rigid, stiff, and not my natural self when I am in conversation with them. Unlike my friends, they can behave freely with the ‘who cares’ feeling. Why can’t I be like them?
A: I think they have less ‘guilt’ compared to you. When you have none, there is nothing that bothers you. Guilt does not have to be about doing something bad. Sometimes, people have guilt for no good reason. It can be anything from holding themselves responsible for something they should or should not have done or blaming themselves for something only they know about, etc. This robs them of their freedom to be what they want to be or do. So with this ‘guilt’ lurking in them, they feel uncomfortable with people.
You could be a worrisome person who feels very duty-bound to the responsibilities you are shouldering. So, take a hard look at yourself and ask whether you should carry this burden wherever you go. Take life easy and lighten your load so you can ‘fly’ with that ‘who cares’ feeling, too.
- What are those responsibilities that make you feel that not enough has been done?
- How real are they?
- How can you free yourself from this load?
- What will make you do it?
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