Q: Although I love my husband very much, there is this fear he could leave me one day. I hear lots of stories and news of this unhappy ending from my sister, good friends, and colleagues. This somehow convinced me that this would happen to me too. Whether this is true or not, this fear is making it very difficult for me to express my full love for him. I am losing sleep over this matter. What can I do with such fears, and how do I get rid of them?
A: The more negative thoughts you have on this issue, the more likely it will generate negative energies that can lead to a chain of self-fulfilling prophecies. You need to face this fear confidently. If you do not, it is likely to magnify many times more and soon become a reality you do not want. Over time, life will become unbearable, which can affect the relationship. But when you do face up to it, you will not only develop courage but, somehow, you will come up with creative strategies to deal with it effectively.
You need to believe in yourself more to drown your fears. When you do this, you will become positive and confident. You will learn to trust him, rather than becoming suspicious over the smallest things you see or feel. Remember, when you are small-hearted with small things, you will irritate anyone, including him. Should this happen, you will make him angry, frustrated, and unhappy. While making yourself confident, you can also prepare yourself by addressing your fear squarely by doing these: describe this fear thoroughly, think of the consequences of your husband abandoning you, how you will handle it, and what resources you will call forth. In a separate exercise, write about things you can do to prevent this from happening. Share this with a close friend so that you can have it all out.
- What is this fear about?
- How can you be sure of yourself as a wife your husband will always need?
- How can you prevent this from happening?
- What can you do now to live with happiness without this worrying you?
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